Meet with Lili, the transgender woman who lived as a nun for 7 years

*The identity of the person interviewed in this article was anonymised

On behalf of Transgender awareness month, Historia ime digged into the previous interviews and articles done regarding the trans community in Albania. We would like to share this time in English one of the most powerful voices from the Albanian trans community, Lili the transwoman who lived as a nun for 7 years.

This interview delves into Lili’s past until nowadays and her struggle to live as a transwoman in a country like Albania. Leading a double life, Lili confesses for our portal when did she face gender dysphoria for the first time, her dropout from family and how she got in touch with the church.

How was your childhood?

My childhood was filled with troubles and problems, starting from the hatred that my father and brothers had towards me due to the fact that I was different. Since I was 14-15 years old, I started to hang out more with girls rather than boys. When I was 16 years old, I felt the gender dysphoria and I opened up about it to my mother. She told about this to the father. Both of them sent me in a hospital in Tirana to do a check up.

Then quarrels started in my house regarding my gender identity. Despite the arguments, my mother was always protective and on my side. On the other hand my father kept a distance towards me and I rarely spoke to him. This situation made me feel lesser and lesser attached to my family.

What about your friends or schoolmates, teachers? How were the relations with them?

Fortunately at school, no one insulted me. Thing were quite good! I was socialising with a lot of people and some of them labelled me as “the cuddler”.

When was the first time that you dressed up as a girl?

For the first time I have tried these clothing when I left home.

When did you leave home and how did you get in touch with the Church?

I was 17 years old when I got out of house. When I took this decision, I did not have the slightest idea where I was going. I did not know Tirana that good. Basically I was just roaming around. While I was passing the Kavaja street, I stumbled upon the “Zemra e Krishtit” church. I decided to go inside.

It was my first time in a church. Later a priest approached me and asked me if I was a believer. He mistook me for a girl. I answered that I was homeless and I came in the church. He took me to the second floor, where I met some other nuns. They were holding some catechism classes.

After the catechism, I was left alone with the nun. They asked me: “Where do you come from?” I told to them that it was my very first time in a church. Later on I told that that I was feeling hopeless and I had gone out of my home because I could not live with my father any longer.

They showed compassion towards me and took me to their monastery. They also assumed that I was a girl. This made me happy.

What happened afterwards?

Since they were willing to help me, I did not tell to them that I was actually a male. That night the nun booked a room for me. The other day I went to the monastery. There I met the other nuns. They were very friendly towards me. I was introduced to another nun, the supervisory one. She was from Africa, but born in America. She helped me a lot in order to get adjusted to the monastery life. I learned there stuff from different field: computer sciences, Italian language, philanthropy etc.

She suggested to me to further my studies within the monastery, in order to be a proper nun just as the others were. Therefore, I decided to register at the dormitory of the nuns. Still, I had one inner fear. I was thinking about my family and if they would find me one day.

How long did you stay at the monastery?

I stayed there for a period of 7 years. During those years I did not have any communication with my family relatives at all. During this period I started school and I finallly got baptized from the Church. This way I became a nun, calling myself Katerina. The dormitory at the monastery had 32 nuns in total. I shared my room with 3 other nuns. At not a single moment did they notice that I was actually a male. Later on I started to learn the Italian language.

At the meantime, my parents had started to look for me. As I was told later, my dad went one day to the police station with my photo in order to search for me. He even asked some random passerby if they had seen me.

Did your father manage to find you?

My father managed to find me through another person. This person had seen me during a Sunday, when I spread free food for the poor people near the church. This person was asked by my father one day on the street, while he was looking for me. That moment he reports to my father that I was staying at the church.

My father was shocked from the news but he asked for the address of the church. Therefore, next weekend he comes at the church. I was cleaning in the 3d floor and at some moment I gazed out of the window. There I saw my father and mother, standing at the entrance of the church.

My emotions were so strong that I decided to go out and hug them. While going down through the staircases, I bump into my supervisory nun. “Where are you going” asked she. I told her that I was going to meet my parents after so many years.

Can you describe us the moment you met your parents?

Afterwards I went to see my parents and withdraw them at the back of the church building, near the garden so no one could see us. Meanwhile the supervisory nun had followed me and screamed at some point “ Katerina stop there immediately!!!”.

I stopped. She came closer and asked my parents “Are Katerinas parents?”. My father was silent all the time. I started speaking in Italian in order for my father not to understand. I told to the nun that my parents do not recognize me with that name.

At that moment my father told to the nun “He is my son”. The supervisory nun replied back in shock “Did you say your son?????”. After some moments of shock, I asked the nun to take my parents to the office to sit and talk. She told me that I had to go to the church and wait for her there.

I do not know what was discussed between them in the office. After the meeting, my father left the place. As I was told later, the nun had promised him that she would take care after me. After my father left, the place the supervisory nun shouted my name “Katerina come at my office!!!”

*Part 2 to be published tomorrow

Journalist: Kristina Millona